Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

V-Twin Valentine

February 14, 2015

The history of Valentine’s Day is shrouded in misty myth and legend. Some believe an early Christian named Valentine worked to save his condemned brothers and sisters but ended up a victim himself. Love in action! – but no one knows for sure… In a more modern setting, giving Valentine’s Day cards has been going on for several hundred years.  What does all this sacrificial love and romance have to with V-Twin motorcycles? Well, maybe a box of chocolates with a fat check taped to the lid will get you a few hours to ride… just saying.

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Dreamy princess binds your time,

A Valentine bestowed sublime!

Feminine, the bottom line-

cold hard cash for cruising fine.

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Feather clouds above the dawn,

Fuel Injector; petrol drawn-

Hard light to power my piston’s song;

FED dollars they don’t last too long.

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Romance fills the miles I ride,

Love the power those dollars hide…

Amid pillows; dreams of clothes,

And as she sleeps-

I fly past pasture fencing rows.

Sparkie Rider

August 26, 2014

Motorcycle news has been full of electric motorcycle products for many months. Harley-Davidson was the latest to showcase an electric ride. Now personally, I’m all for improving technology, but when limited range is combined with hours and hours of recharging… Well, didn’t we visit this issue back in the 1910s! My short answer is Tesla will fail and electric bikes at best will be a novelty.

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Chemistry evokes electrons small,
Horizons far; a tricky order tall-
Visionaries march towards carbon free!
Petroleum in tanks is all I see…

Combustion of a different sort – OK,
on distance none will waffle or be swayed.
The atoms in your battery get tired,
hours pass while charging fully wired…

Need a charge- those plugs are hard to find.
Armatures and staters on you mind;
Imitation noise a selling tool-
Valve adjustments? Never is the rule.

So saddle up! Then ride to windmill farm,
Visualize the energy, and harm.
Flaring and deep fracking is still best!
Internal fire rumbles on request….

Motorcycle Diet

June 27, 2014

Motorcycles are exactly like money; they are inherently neither good or bad, can be used for value based exchanges, often their value is related to the latest crude oil quote and are occasionally moved in the middle of the night by nefarious characters. They have been known to take people to places they should avoid – like ice cream parlors.

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Sugar cravings creeping round?
Can’t quite lose that stubborn pound?
Blame may lie at V-twin’s wheels-
Tuesday has those 2- for deals!

As you round your favorite curve
Speed demands your steeled nerve-
Then your will to jelly turns,
Spying house of deep fried burns!

Gasoline flows in your tank,
Card it siphons from your bank.
Salty snacks on shelves abound…
Belt to loosen stomach round.

Chocolate becons; creamy song-
Scale bemoans you’re in the wrong!
Motorcycle doesn’t care…
Adjust the shocks once more- with care.

Stage One Labor

March 21, 2014

Making a ‘stage one’ upgrade to your motorcycles v-twin engine usually involves three things; bigger air intake, more open (more noisy) exhaust system, and a reprogramming of your electronic fuel computer. Some guys skip the reprogramming step, but it’s important for engine health. Stage one is not cheap but usually sounds better….

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Factory grumble slightly weak
Scheduled fuel just needs a tweak-
Add a bigger air intake,
Decrement in mileage make.

Laptop placed downloaded plan
Update now on faster LAN,
Electrons pulse injectors right,
Torque improvement nice but slight.

Exit pipes with tips of black,
Careful placement in the rack.
Open breather takes more air,
Crafted mount installed with care.

Piston pressure; gauge some slack-
Idles deeply, throttles smack!
Injectors pumping robust grade-
Stage one upgrade now is made.

Crime of Grime

February 28, 2014

Have you read any earlier posts? No?! Well, you may be better off…

Motorcycles were made to ride. Unfortunately, you almost need to spend as much time cleaning your ride as riding. Of course, I don’t-

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Guilt of Grime

Lower frame encased with grit,
Purchase yellow washing mit-
No time to wash, it’s leave I must,
Fairing visor caked in dust.

Tank is waxed but dingy green;
Pollen covers factory sheen.
Conscience calls to wash the wheels-
Underneath to clean the keel.

Bags have lost their luster bright-
Grime obscures hues that delight.
Chrome don’t shine that foundry built;
Wash today- just too much guilt.

Magnetic Alignment Cruiser

January 6, 2014

There’s been a lot of news lately about animals with magnetic sensitivity. Some of them probably do have it; but the stories are fishy. It got me thinking that maybe when I ride or work on my motorcycle, I should magnetically align for improved results!

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Compass points up to the north,
Quarts of oil; a third or fourth?
Robins sense magnetic fields-
South for fuel? High octane yields!

Turtle wax for tins is best,
But should I point the frame out west?
Dogs align for number two;
Do the same for brake pads new?

Fish swim back; magnetic force,
Roadway heading- change my course.
Now they claim the poles will flop-
Adjust my valves with nut at top.

Thankful Haters’ Patio

January 3, 2014

It’s a new year the Good Lord has given us. We need to be thankful for what we we have today. However, motorcyclists notice when another rider has a newer and better ride. We hate those guys!! :)) The last line is my attempt at irony…

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A cafe near an interstate,
Exit towards the western gate-
Patio is wide and clean;
Riders congregate to dream.

Motorcycle cruises warm,
Fair breezes block approaching storms.
Hearts are glad with empty plate,
There goes one! Those guys we hate.

Our humble rides of colors plain
Fancier would wallets drain-
But those guys cruise without a care;
New steeds of chrome; with power to spare.

Engines large to pass us by-
Fancy bags that make us cry.
Extra lights that flash and bait;
Smug riders that we love to hate.

Obvious ‘inheritor’!
Those payments- we are way too poor.
Matching clothes with gilded trim;
Full audio with custom rims.

Dejected we; they ride on by
Without salute; ‘too cool’ we cry!
Sulking towards our rides for home-
Suffer with this 103; I roam.

Shakespeare Fuel Light

December 9, 2013

Since I continue to rely on others for ideas, I will ‘borrow’ from the old bard’s Sonnet 26.

The worst part of running out of gas on a motorcycle is having to explain it to yourself. To others you will tell little white lies like ‘the gauge was off, or ‘my fuel computation routine malfunctioned’ or ‘there must be water in my fuel’, But you know what really happened- burned out fuel caution light. Right….

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Regret the thought-, to turn another road;
And stretch the liquid energy within!
But hence, perchance a lark will sing
And song will bring me to the pump with grin.

Tarred stone compressed for me to make headway;
As on black bladders I do roll-
RPM’s of torque do pull me hence;
Spying stations flush doth my eye troll.

Cruel fate, that drives me on beyond the range
Computed swiftly on the white faced dial;
Forlorn the sputtering doth softly speak-
Fuel warning light is dark and did beguile-

Fob Musings

December 6, 2013

First, are you taking time to read one of these poems everyday? No? Well I can hardly blame you…

The Magic Fob

Years ago when the earth was still cooling, a ‘fob’ was a small metal emblem attached to pocket watches. Today they are electronic and used to allow your motorcycle to start. Fobs are cool and quick, just don’t leave them next to a cell phone or other magnet based devices.

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Fob so small and curvy smart-
Won’t you once again please start;
Electric process which begins,
Hot combustion pistons in.

Proximity you signal now,
Relaxes cutout quick somehow!
Flashes lights and signals small-
Warning teenage vandals all-

Pants pocket or cordura vest,
Hiding out of sight- request,
Acceleration while I roll;
Release the horses you control.

Tryptophan Tender

November 29, 2013

Battery tenders work well keeping middle aged batteries puffing along. Mechanics also use tenders to fully charge new batteries before installing them into your ride. However, you should never eat a turkey Thanksgiving meal THEN charge a new battery. This activity could put you into a permanent coma!

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Motorcycle bright blue tank,
devours charge with starting crank-
Short trips for treats and waffles dutch,
keep you boosted? not so much…

But turkey day arrives quite cool
Parts store open makes me drool-
New batteries all glisten black,
Attach the tender, fork unpack.

Dinner done and stuffed am I,
Tender’s lights still flash I spy-
Tryptophan flows in my veins;
Wearily I watch; in vane.

Hours pass with football scores,
Dreams are filled with battery chores-
Recliner holds me firm with sleep-
Tender pulses charge to keep.